Bestill my heard -- Gnoblars!

A funny thing happened on the way to build my Ogre Kingdoms army. Actually a few funny things.

First, I have a painted army, all of the sudden out of the blue, thanks to Sir Jeff, Mr. Nick and $100.

Second, I fell in love with Gnoblars.

You see, I originally wanted to play Ogres because I could paint them fast (I'm old and carpal tunnel is catching up with me). I envisioned a 10-12-model, 750-1,000-point army for fun, fast games and the ASB Doubles Tournament. I kept saying "I only want Ogres -- no Gnoblars."

Then I bought the army from Sir J and started to look at and examine the little buggers ... and I can't help it. I just love them.

I have a soft spot in my heart for Greenskins. I play 40k Orks. I play -- to varying degrees of success -- Orcs & Goblins.

But the Gnoblars are the most ridiculously cute and stupid Greenskins I have ever seen.

The look like Muppets. Mentally challenged Muppets. And maybe because I have three siblings with Downs Syndrome, I have a soft spot for mentally challenged people (no jokes). In any case they are ridiculous and characterful and just wonderful.

And not only that, each Gnoblar is a little different. There are Gnobbies with huge backpacks. There are ones with broken bottles and rusted swords and battered shields. So I'm not going to be sitting there saying to myself, "Here I am painting *another* Night Goblin. Sigh. So boring."

Did I mention they are two pieces? A body with legs and arms. And a head. Pass the plastic glue, please.

So since my Ogres are all painted (though I'll be making some special characters with my Battalion), I can imagine painting nine Gnoblar Trappers. And I can imagine going from there to painting at least one regiment of 20.

And heck. I could go from there to making an entire 2250-point* army of (insert Jobe voice) *NOTHING BUT GNOBLERS*. Ha ha just kidding. Though it would be interesting. After all, Brender calculated that we could fit 3,972 gnoblars in a deployment zone.

And with their "Largely Insignificant" rule (which means they are immune to panic when they see other Gnoblars flee), it would be an awful lot of Gnobbies to chase from the table. And hilarious too.

If I do that, I only have one recommendation: Bring your riot shields, boys and girls. And a lot of dice.

And prepare for hilarity.

*Hmmm... a 750-point army of nothing but Gnoblars would be interesting. That's still 375 Gnoblars, give or take! And a lot of sharp stuff. And lots of running.

Sick disgusting wonderful Ogreness

As you may or may not have heard through the Bunker grapevine, I bought a fat-gustingly huge fully-painted Ogre Kingdoms army from Sir Jeff yesterday -- ten seconds after I bought an Ogre Battalion (which is sweet -- cuz I'll need them all!)

Anyways, I almost immediately played against Jose with my 50-bull 2250 list and got my bootie handed to me on a silver platter by his High Elves. But I had fun. Jose is a very polite opponent and is interested in teaching you while you play.

I was a little bummed out. But then I sat down to hobby and started ogling my beautiful new army and I didn't care.

Two reasons why I think it was fun to lose last night:

1) I understand the Fantasy rules better now, so at least I understand why I lost. When I first started, I could barely keep up with my opponent.

2) It really was a learning experience.

3) It was a fast, short game! :P

Anyways, I'm looking forward to playing Jose again -- or whoever. Even a quick 1,000 point game would be terrific :)

Relic's Space Marine vidgame

I'm sure y'all saw this on BOLS. It's sick nonetheless. Could be excuse #2 to buy a 360. (Excuse #1 = Blood Bowl.) Isaac wants Dawn of War 2, but I don't feel like buying a $800 computer to play it. Maybe this game would satiate him?

Still, an Ex-Box is like $300 wif a hard drive. And then there's the cost of the gamez and anover controller.

I wonder how much I could get for one of my kidneys?*

*(Gawd. I'm going all Will Smith in "Seven Pounds" for toy soldier-related goofiness.)

Enjoy the vid.

Father/Son Chaos vs. Counts throwdown

My son Isaac and I (aided by Tattoo Sam) played a game of Fantasy last night at the Bunker. Super fun. I played Warriors of Chaos with store models and he played Vampire Counts. We made hasty lists, which were roughly equivalent. It was 555 points each side.

I had a great time. Loved playing the Warriors of Chaos. They are pretty much like cheerleaders. They Bring It On!

Isaac had fun. I beat him -- but he's actually a better sport than me. He hearts Vampire Counts which is unfathomable to me cuz I think they are grody (for example, the Corpse Cart).

I think it would have been a more fair game if I knew the Vampire Counts army and didn't have to clarify rules with the Masters every few minutes (Jeff, Gerrit, Savant and Tyler). Sam and I fudged a few rules in Isaac's favor, but the WoCs still WoCked it. Nonetheless, I saw the potential of the VCs. Being able to potentially spawn new units every turn is kinda sweet. And the whole no running away thingie is sweet too.

I discovered I like playing WoCs cuz combat is my favorite part of Fantasy. I had no magic and a measly two dispel dice. "No magic, not shooting. Combat."

Next I think I'll try Doowarfs with store models -- or even my Skull Pass dudes. Or a toned-down Daemons force. Isaac is in love with the Counts. So I imagine he'll keep trying them out. Personally, I think he'd be happier with a more compact, tougher overall force (D-to-the-warfs).

Still the Counts rock. D3 plus six (I think) new zombies per turn. "Let me count, von, two, three, four, five, six, seven!" Pretty sweet stuff for a bunch of puss-filled evil grodiness.

Keeper of Secrets/Vampirella conversion

I wanna custom build a Keeper of Secrets model.

I have a Vampirella action figure from a few years back (pictured above). She's sexy as all get out and with a some Green Stuff and purple paint, could transmorgify into a sweet Secret Keeper. She may not have bird legs, but I'll that slide. She's just in her Allure mode, ya know?

She probably wouldn't be Grand Tournament legal (even with a crapload of bitz). But that's okay. I'm not really interested in that. Just like to have fun down at the Bunker.

By the way, I like the Forge World Keeper of Secrets, but it's spendy. Also, she/he/it has six breasts. Never been a fan of that look (though I suppose I could file the extra mammaries off -- wearing a respirator, of course). Still she is the price of a 1,000 point army (or the models I would need to make one). And that's a bit much for a Lawn Boy.

Have I mentioned I love Daemon models?

Unbreaking the broken

It must be the Magic player in me, but I have been having super fun making lists of armies I don't own and may never buy/build/paint.

This morning I made a Daemons of Chaos list after having a conversation with the guys at the shop about whether an "unbroken" DoC list could be built. The main reason I did this is because I love the look and feel of the DoC models. I also think it's pretty nifty that you can use them in 40k, too.

Anyways, it seemed the consensus was DoC non-broken lists could be built but to be aware of certain unfair advantages DoC have. Also the consensus (which pretty much means Jose said so and no one argued with him) was that a list with a core unit from each of the for Chaos gods would be less likely to be broken.

While building this list, I also noticed that Daemons have some CRAZY magic banners and stuff. I avoided the cheesiest, when possible.

I should also mention that when I build lists, I'm always keeping in mind how much real-world money (as opposed to gil) it would cost to build an army. Since I'm permabroke, I try to keep things as conservative as possible.

Here's the 1000-pt list:

Skulltaker, el Generalisimo
Herald of Slaanesh BSB with the +d3 CR banner thingie, Torment blade (models that suffer a wound can't strike back that combat - good for Challenges but not supah crazy).
10 Daemonettes, full command (Herald goes here)
10 Bloodletters, full command, w/ Skull Totem (May Always March) (Skulltaker goes here)
10 Plaguebearers, full command
10 Pink Horrors, Iridescent Horror, full command

Totals up with four casting dice, four dispel dice. Not over the top by any estimation.

The temptation to build KRAZEENESS into a daemons list is there. Flipping through the army book it's hard not to feel a little sick to my stomach with some of the stuff in there. If Daemons are going to be THAT powerful, maybe they should cost TWICE as much in points. I mean seriously, a Bloodletter is cheaper than a Warrior of Chaos, almost as devastating in close combat, has a 5+ ward save, and they move super fast and with the Skull Totem could basically move 10 inches per turn AND STILL CHARGE. Yikes. All that for a 175-point, ten-daemon unit. Oh. And I forgot. They are Immune to Psychology and have that weird rule where they don't even have to take break tests (instead take wounds equivalent to how many points they lost CR by).

Anyways, blah blah blah I still like the models.

Where was y'all?

Dang the Seattle Bunker was super-vacant last night. What happened to the overwhelming number of Fantasy players on Tuesday nights? Maybe I've been outta the loop too long. Oh well. I got a bit of Blood Bowl in.

750 point O&G flavah for the July Funhammer Tourney

I had originally meant to bring a list like this to El 750 point tournament come July.

- 3 blocks of 40 Night Goblins. Hand weapons, shields, no fanatics.
- General - Goblin Shaman
- Night Goblin Shaman
- misc. magic itumz

And while it was effective in one game vs. Jeffe's Saurus-cum-Skink Jungle Swarm, I have a feeling it was a little unfun to play against. Unfun as in boring.

So I've toned it down and tried to flavah it up a little bit. Cuz fun is the name of the game.

- Goblin Big Boss on wolf w/BSB and +1 CR War Banner
- Two Blocks of 30 Night Goblins, musician, standard, spears, nets and FANATICS
- Five of dem Squigg Hoppas
- Two blocks of Snotlings, two bases each
- Nine Goblin Wolfriders with bows (Big Boss w/BSB goes here)

(It's not so much what I think will win now. It's what the goblins think will win. You see? I'm roleplaying. Weird.)

Nick will supply the generalismo, hopefully with a high leadership value and some of dat other crazeeness.

Oh dang. Now that I fink of it, I shouldz have some waaaaagh magicz in dere.

What are your t'oughts?

Dragonforce lyrics

Who can possibly not love Dragonforce? If plastic glue has ever graced your nostrils and dice have ever blessed your hands, you mustez loves this.

Online Blood Bowl

I'm sure all you die-hard Blood Bowl Veterans (Jason, Mr. Bell) already know about this, but you can play Blood Bowl online with a Java App. Get the lowdown at www.fumbbl.com

It may not be the most exciting thing for those of you who practically live at the Seattle Bunker, but to old guys like me with kids and stuff, it means we can play at home while our children are sleeping and/or playing peacefully in a puddle of light (come to think of it, that whole puddle of light thing never happens).

The Java App isn't the most attractive thing in the world. I messed around with it a bit. Since I don't know how to play Blood Bowl yet, I didn't play against anyone. I'll save that for the real tabletop versus Jimmy the Savant.

Rohan Oathswarn Archers on the cheap

I am slowly amassing a Rohan army for War of the Rings. And WoTR army is a considerable monetary investment, but luckily there is a lot of plastic available and LoTR minis are on the affordable side. Also, the WoTR ruleset is spectacular!

Anyways, I have a ton of old school Bretonnian bowmen. They are a little cheesy looking, but after I snap some round bases on them, I'll have some Rohirrim bowmen for WoTR. They will be particularly husky bowmen, but they'll do until i have some cashola for full-fledged LoTR minis.

Orc head, Bloodthirster body=bad idea

In an attempt to make plastic savage orcs, i tried tacking a bald orc head on a bloodthirster body.

ew.

i don't recommend it.

Fever dream

I am a bit sick today, so I've been sleeping.

During my slumber, Skarsnik, Lord of the Eight peeks, came to me in a dream.

"Betrayer!" he shrieked.

My eyes snapped open. How could I dare to play any other army but my beloved Greenskins.

Forgive me Mork and Gork, for I have sinned.

To Bretonnian or not Bretonnian

Nicholas, fellow ASBer and Bunker Denizen, has asked me to be his partner in the July Doubles Tournament and I have gladly accepted.

However he plays Empire and I am obsessed by all things greenskin. Being as stickler for fluff, I am considering dusting off my Bretonnian bad boys from long long ago and playing with them.

After tooling around a bit on Army Builder, I've come up with a list of two blocks of Knights of the Realm, a Paladin for a general, a Paladin with BSB and a Damsel of the Lady for some potential magic punch/healing. Of course that will likely change. Nicholas and I will likely take the general in one army and BSB in another.

I understand Brets can be a fairly Beardy army. Is there a way to build them so they are still fun to play against?

I have enough Bretonnians for the force. Here are the downsides:

- Focusing on the Brets would distract from readying my Gobs of Gobbos
- Brets are a bizitch to paint - but perhaps I could go for a simple paint schema.

I'm not planning on making Bretonnians my main army or anything. But since I have the models and have been unable to sell or even GIVE them away, I may as well use them.

Blood Bowl!

Evan is hooking me up with some plastic Blood Bowl orcs (thanks dude!). He says they are a little dated, but I don't care! They look delightfully dorky to me.

So I guess I'll be playing with y'all whenever we get a chance.

So that means another set of rules for me to learn. Thank Gork y'all are such patient teachas.

'Ere we go!

Fluffy armies and the RPG aspect of Warhammer Fantasy

Whilst attempting to commit the Orcs 'n' Goblins Army Book to memory last night, I started to realize Warhammer Fantasy (and to some extent 40k) is very role-play-ey. I like that.

As I've written before, I'm a roleplayer-cum-wargamer. In the RPG world there is a continual debate about whether rules should enforce role playing. Many "hard core" old school RPG freaks like the idea. Late last year, I leaning in that direction myself. Then I pretty much stopped playing (or thinking about those things) cuz I got back into wargames.

After reading Gerrit's article about his Skaven list for the Doubles Tournament, and reading and rereading my OnG book, I realized that Warhammer Fantasy Battle has more rules enforcing role playing than Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition. *snicker*

Orcs 'n' Goblins start fighting with each other on a regular basis. Skaven sometimes shoot themselves. Chaos Warriors *must* accept and *issue* challenges whenever possible. There are probably dozens of other example that I can't think of right now.

Until today, I had been thinking of these rules things that add balance to the GW stable of games. To be sure, there are circumstances where these things make the metagame more fair. But it sunk into my thick skull last night that they really serve a higher power: FUN.

It's funny. I got back into Warhammer as something to do when I couldn't play D&D. And I'm having more fun -- and doing more actual role playing -- than I ever actually did playing RPGs.

So please, don't mind me if I mutter to myself whilst commanding Azhag the Slaughterer's army. I'm just getting into the part, ya see?

Price hike!? It burns us!

I just popped over to Games-Workshop.com and suddenly remembered that a lot of things went up in price today. Yikes!

In reality, most of the price hikes aren't all that bad. I always say I want GW to stay in business and keep doin' what it does. And I still feel that way.

And also, most of the stuff I want didn't go up in price. Phew!!

To me the worst thing is the hike in the starter boxed sets. The "Battle for Skull Pass," "Assault of Black Reach" and "Mines of Moria" sets all went up from $60 to $75. As a beneficiary of the leftovers from 5 Skull Pass sets, I can see the logic in this. People were buying the sets over and over and building their forces for really cheap. So maybe the price boost is a bit of a deterrent? On the other hand, It's gonna be a lot harder to get Mommy to spend $75 on a weird game for Johnny that she's never seen before.

To be sure, the boxed sets are still terrific deals. In all of them you get tons of minis and great little rulebooks. I'm almost positive they are loss leaders for GW -- lose a little money on the first sale to make more sales later. I just hope those boxed sets keep selling, cuz to be honest, I love seeing all the little kids coming in the store with their overflowing boxes of half-painted Marines and Orks. And the cool thing is a few of them are girls!

Anyways, it doesn't burn so bad as it seemed it would.In the end, I just hope it turns out to be the best for GW, because that, in turn, will turn out to be the best for us gamerz.

=][nquisitor=

There's been a bit of talk at the bunker about what is perhaps GW's strangest Specialist Game: Inquisitor.

Inquisitor is not your average GW game. It's billed as a "narrative skirmish" game.


What does that mean? It really means that it's a role-playing game where everyone is not on the same team. The game pretty much requires a game master (as opposed to Mordheim, which is kinda GM-optional). When GW first released Inquisitor it was before Dungeons and Dragons had taken on its current minis-heavy guise. To me it was fascinating. Most of my gaming pedigree comes from RPGs -- but I've always been obsessed with miniatures. It seemed like the perfect blend of the two -- in many ways it still is.

The game takes place in everybody's favorite Grim, Dark Future. Originally, each player was meant to play the part of an Inquisitor, each approaching their duty to the Emperor from their disparate philosophies. Some Inquisitors flirt with the Warp and use the tools of Chaos to hunt down Chaos itself. Others bend the will of alien Xenos to stalk the heretic. Others still are uncompromising in their search to stomp out the enemies of the Imperium. Naturally these different views cause conflicts in the vast organization of the Inquisition. These conflicts are the core of what Inquisitor is all about.

The GM's job is to create an overarching story to link the games together. The skirmish battles themselves -- between the Inquisitors and their retinue -- are meant to represent the climax of each "episode" of the storyline. In doing this, the GM and the player create a story. The rulebook even encourages the GM and players to keep a diary of story events so you can look back years (or even a few days) later and relive the narrative.

This focus on narrative is not unique in GW games. Indeed, it's the "fluff" that draws most people to GW games in the first place. After all, without the fluff, it's just a bunch of math. We could choose to play Warhammer with chess pieces, ("The pawns are all guardsmen with lasguns." "Okay well mine are all ork boyz with choppas and sluggas." But even the most diehard of tacticians would soon tire of that.

Inquisitor's focus on narrative is even more in depth. It makes Inquisitor unique -- for both a tabletop skirmish game and an RPG (after all, most RPGs are pretty hack 'n' slash oriented). It's also what makes a game master essential to the game. In Inquisitor, it's possible to be a character like Witch Hunter Tyrus, in huge, nigh impenetrable power armor, while your "opponent" is a character like Eisenhorn, adorned with only a duster and samurai-like sword. There is no points system to ensure one warband is equal to another. That's left up to the GM. Unlike other tabletop games where the GM acts as an arbiter, in this game the GM is like the GM in an RPG -- his/her word is law. He's the ultimate authority on the story. And the story, after all, is what Inquisitor is all about.

It's a tough balance. I imagine the game would be even more of a cooperative act of make-believe than D&D -- somewhere in the realm of White Wolf's Vampire, Werewolf and Mage games. Only in this game, you get to use minis. Mmmm minis. They make our world go 'round, don't they?

Anyways, with the intermittent chatter around the Bunker about Inquisitor, I'm sincerely hoping I get to play -- whether as GM or player character. It could make for some serious fun.