One more thing... Let's Talk Bowling

"The Crew" (aka everyone except Tyler and Jimmy) went to Bellevue's Swankiest bowling alley tonight, Lincoln Bowl.

It got me thinking about a new game. And that got me thinking about girls. Let me explain:

Reynor: "Hey -- let's make a Warhammer Fantasy version of bowling."
Jake: "What would we call it? Death Bowl?"

later...

Reynor: "We could use scatter dice to indicate the direction the bowling ball goes."
Jake: (Nodding and pursing his lips in a Jakey kind of way) "That could work."
Reynor: "Or we could make the entire game kinetic based. That was H.G. Wells' original vision of wargames -- he said you should have to aim and actually shoot at models."
Jake: "I think it would be better if we bowl the actual models over."
Reynor: "Oh! And we could use Fanatics!"

Hmmmm.

So anyways, Jake got distracted cuz Kitty sat on him. I tried not to look at Drunk Garrit-cum-Hasselhoff reclining on one of the bowling sofas. So I gazed a couple alleys down at some Pretty Cute Girls. And I thought girls... girls... girls... and I realized a dorky game where we shoot/bowl over ACTUAL MODELS might be something chicks would dig. Don't ask me why. It doesn't make sense now, but at the time it did. Maybe I was just wishing for more chicks around besides the Lapdancee Carmen, Kitty the Wondergirlfriend and Maula, my Honorary Girlfriend (which gives her rights to be an ASB member).

Anyways back to bowling. Since Everything is Better with Greenskins(TM) I think the game should be all about Orcs and Goblins doing their own version of bowling. I don't think any other races should be involved in the game except maybe Dark Elves and Ogres (those are the only other two races that take an equal delight in hurting their own people). For the time being I prefer only Greenskins.

And I'm gonna get radical here. I'm gonna get crazy. I'm gonna say let's forget about numbers and stats. Let's make this about SKILLZ!!

So we got Fanatics, Orcs throwing them at Skull Pass Goblins, some kind of kinetic skill to do said knocking, and hot chicks getting out their aggression toward our "hobby." Sounds perfect.

What's missing?

Rubber bands.

Finger sling shots.

Bouncy balls.

Jeff dancing.

Have I missed anything?

So everybody break out your Skull Pass Goblins (and you know you have them). Run to QFC for a bouncy ball. Flirt with Maula on the way back... and LET'S GO BOWLING!

You think about that for awhile. I dare you. Cuz IT'S GONNA BLOW YOUR FREAKIN' MIND!!!!

Goodnight.

P.S. I'm going to take this moment to confess that I have not seen "The Big Lewbowski." Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

I'm a sellout

There's been a takeover. A merger. A buyout of sorts. Very common in this day and age. My blog has been enveloped in another. I'm officially an ASBlogger now. So this little home of my random musings will no longer exist -- at least not as a gaming blog.

Conan himself (Jeff) asked me to be one of the ASB bloggers. A prestigious honor, to be sure. I think it's cuz I write more than he does. I find it funny cuz I'm the one who knows least about all these wacky games we play. :P

In case you are wondering, the ASB blog will be paying me BIG MONEY for my words. So don't worry.

And fear not my loyal readers (both of you). You can still be my biggest fan at http://adultswimbunker.blogspot.com

I told myself I wouldn't cry. But I can't help it. This is the right step for my blogging career at this time. Just keep telling yourself that, Reynor. But somehow I will still miss my own little corner of the super gamer geek blogosphere.

Field of Glory

Jake and I did some text dueling a week or so ago. The conversation went something like this:

Me: What do you like better, Warhammer or War of the Ring?
Jake: WOTR has some rules problems, Warhammer is totally unbalanced. I like the Fantasy models more. Pretty equal right now.

I think Jake summed it up pretty well. I haven't played 40k seriously in several years, but I'm thinking it may be the same level of unbalancedness.

But there's this other game. It's not Games Workshop at all. It's called Field of Glory. Historical. Ancient. Painstakingly balanced.

And did I mention you can build an 15 mm army for $60 to $100? Of course you can also play with 25 mm figs. (What would we use? Bretonnians? Empire?).

I'm planning on going up to Panzer Depot in Kirkland, the Eastside's friendly neighborhood historical wargame hangout, and learn the ropes of the game. The ruleset is reputed to be easy to grasp in a game or two. An excerpt from the book:

"Pick and army from a period of history that interests and enthuses you... as there are no "super armies" in Field of Glory..."

Kinda interesting what happens when game rules are published by a company that doesn't also manufacture miniatures for said game. :)

Oh, and they are making a videogame version for online folly.

And no magic!!!

So who's down?

Reynor plus Warboss on Wyvern = LUV

Okay well even though the new Azhag model is coming out next month, I still bought the old Warboss on Wyvern model a couple days ago.

I just got done pinning it and I love it! Jeff and I are planning a game for Wednesday and I can't wait.

I dunno if I'll win or not. Don't care. Just but I have a list (that I copied from someone on Da-Warpath.com) and I think I'll try to use it for awhile, tune it a bit.

My Empire for an Empire army

Well as ya'll know, I've been pining for an Empire army for some time now -- at least a few weeks. What's stopped me from making one? The price tag.

Empire is great. It's flexible -- you can go magic, shooting, artillery, cavalry, infantry -- or a healthy mix of 'em all. It can be all plastic -- no white metal monstrous mounts to pin and glue and file and fight. But like most Horde armies, it's spendy spendy spendy.

Witness my dream list. I won't take credit for thinking it up. I borrowed it whole and full from the Reman Legions website. He, in turn, borrowed the concepts for it from the "TVI" build -- an Imperial list created by a guy using the "The Village Idiot" as his moniker on warhammer-empire.com.

Basically, it's a list that takes advantage of my favorite thing about Empire armies -- the detachment system. The list focuses on great gobs of Empire swordsmen. When I design Orc & Goblin lists, I try to design them with these things in mind (which of course, they can't do because of Animosity).

It's a magic-free list. It's got just a tad of shooting (mostly warmachines) and it's done well at tournaments (albeit with a heavily-converted, competently-painted army).

However, the looming price tag on this list: $600+ after tax.

Now call me crazy, but I'm of the opinion that $300-350 is the sweet spot for Warhammer armies -- at least at 2250. And as badly as I want to play this list, I just can't imagine sinking this kind of green into it. I mean what if it just sucks? What if it isn't my style. I spend $400-450 on my initial Orcs & Goblins build -- and have been frustrated ever since. And I've bought Ogres since then (which I love but don't expect to win with). And lets not even talk about how long it would take to glue this army together -- let alone paint it.

Anyway, here's the list for your perusal. Maybe I'll do it. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll just do 1000 points at a time to make it a less-bitter drug of choice to swallow.

2250 Pts - Empire Roster - 2250 Reman Legions Empire

1 General of the Empire @ 145 Pts
General; Hand Weapon; Full Plate Armor; Shield
1 Rod of Command @ [50] Pts

1 Captain of the Empire (Battle Standard Bearer) @ 183 Pts
Hand Weapon; Full Plate Armor; Battle Standard Bearer
1 Imperial Banner @ [100] Pts

1 Captain of the Empire @ 60 Pts
Hand Weapon; Full Plate Armor; Shield

1 Captain of the Empire @ 60 Pts
Hand Weapon; Full Plate Armor; Shield

28 Swordsmen @ 318 Pts
Musician Mus; Standard Bearer Std; Hand Weapon; Light Armour; Shield
1 Duellist @ [16] Pts
Hand Weapon; Light Armour; Shield
1 War Banner @ [25] Pts
5 [Det] Archers @ [40] Pts
Hand Weapon; Bow; Skirmishers
9 [Det] Swordsmen @ [54] Pts
Hand Weapon; Light Armour; Shield

29 Swordsmen @ 283 Pts
Musician Mus; Standard Bearer Std; Hand Weapon; Light Armour; Shield
5 [Det] Archers @ [40] Pts
Hand Weapon; Bow; Skirmishers
9 [Det] Swordsmen @ [54] Pts
Hand Weapon; Light Armour; Shield

28 Swordsmen @ 293 Pts
Musician Mus; Standard Bearer Std; Hand Weapon; Light Armour; Shield
1 Duellist @ [16] Pts
Hand Weapon; Light Armour; Shield
5 [Det] Archers @ [40] Pts
Hand Weapon; Bow; Skirmishers
9 [Det] Swordsmen @ [54] Pts
Hand Weapon; Light Armour; Shield

29 Swordsmen @ 283 Pts
Musician Mus; Standard Bearer Std; Hand Weapon; Light Armour; Shield
5 [Det] Archers @ [40] Pts
Hand Weapon; Bow; Skirmishers
9 [Det] Swordsmen @ [54] Pts
Hand Weapon; Light Armour; Shield

5 Pistoliers @ 97 Pts
Musician Mus; Hand Weapon; Brace of Pistols; Light Armour; Fast Cavalry
5 Warhorse @ [0] Pts

5 Pistoliers @ 97 Pts
Musician Mus; Hand Weapon; Brace of Pistols; Light Armour; Fast Cavalry
5 Warhorse @ [0] Pts

1 Great Cannon @ 100 Pts
Cannon
3 Crew @ [0] Pts
Hand Weapon

1 Great Cannon @ 100 Pts
Cannon
3 Crew @ [0] Pts
Hand Weapon

1 Helstorm Rocket Battery @ 115 Pts
3 Crew @ [0] Pts
Hand Weapon

1 Helstorm Rocket Battery @ 115 Pts
3 Crew @ [0] Pts
Hand Weapon

Total Roster Cost: 2249
202 Models!
2 Casting Dice
2 Dispel Dice

Your thoughts?

Also: I'm trying to keep in mind that "tournament-winning" armies may have also won due to high composition and paint scores. So would this be a competitive "friendly" list for around the Battle Bunker? I know it's not cheesy. That's not my concern. It's just a lot of little infantry that I will probably never get around to painting and it would be a shame if I realized that I should have put together a more balanced force!

Thanks guys!

The Return to Innocence: 40k

It all started 21 years ago. After school one day I had the crap beaten out of me. Two surgeries later, I had months of time to spend alone. I got into role-playing games and eventually into this weird new RPG-Wargame amalgam: Warhammer 40,000.

Flash forward to late 2008. I'm working at a Unitarian church in Factoria. At lunch, I usually shoot down the hill to get a hot sandwich at QFC. One day I park in the lot right in front of Games Workshop.

I promise myself that I'll never go in there. Every time I've gotten interested in GW Games -- particularly as an adult -- I've spent a good deal of money on miniatures that I barely even get to play with.

But despite my dogmatic ego-based oath to never enter the store, I stop by "just to see what the newest Space Marines minis are like these days." The love for everything Warhammer never truly drained out of me.

Within a few short months I had made the switch whole hog from 40k to Fantasy -- preferring the more mature crowd of gamers at the bunker.

It may be time for a switch back, however. I gladly submit that Fantasy is a better rules system. But my Tuesdays (Fantasy night at the Bunker), Thursdays (ASB night at the Bunker) and Saturdays are booked. I go to school from 8 a.m. til 7 p.m. and usually put in a good 1-2 hours of landscaping after that.

So as I frantically search for a suitable Fantasy army to play opponents who will either bug the hell out of me or whom I will never see, I remember that I have at least $500 of plastic 40k Orks piled up in drawers around my room. And I remember that Orks in 40k are among the most competitive armies. And I remember that Wednesday is 40k night at the Bunker. And I think
"Without even spending a dollar, I could try 40k out again. If it sucks, it sucks. But if it's decent, then I have a way to keep gaming while I'm going to school."

So that's that. If the 40k crowd turns out to be crappy (and it's likely it will be -- it's crawling with power-loving teenage boys), and I can't find time to play with my ASB homies (working 40+ hours and schooling 33+ hours, mixed with single-dadding, doesn't leave time for much) then mayhaps I'll find a new hobby. Flames of War? Field of Glory?

Meanwhile, I'll dust off the Space Orks (as we old guys call them) and land them atop a plastic planetscape at El Bunker. And mayhaps I'll keep saving for the Fantasy army I really want...

The Horror: Obnoxious Opponents

Last week I wanted to quit this hobby whole hog because I played Fantasy with an obnoxious opponent* on a Friday evening. I soon regretted it.

Here's a few examples of my opponent's sins:

1. Bragging loudly to other gamers in the store about how I had not caused "one single wound" to his army.

2. Saying things like "So that's 11 more dead Gnoblars!" with a gleeful, taunting voice instead of just saying "11 wounds -- do you get a save?" with some sportsmanlike concern.

3. Forcing us to count out combat resolution when I was clearly down to double-ones. I kept saying, "Dude -- you won combat. I'm down to double ones. We don't have to do the dice counting thing." He replied: "But there's still Overkill to count!!!"

4. Not allowing me to concede the game at the end of turn 4 when I had only one unit left on the table. "It goes to turn 6," he said. He really really wanted to keep wailing on me (I think he was looking for a tabled game and bragging rights).

I should have known. I had heard this person say "I won my first game of Fantasy in 30 minutes!" and "I've only been playing Fantasy for three weeks. I've played six games and not lost a single one!" He has a great record? Terrific. But truly great gamers don't brag.

Look people -- if you are going to play any type of tabletop wargame, you have an obligation to your opponent: Provide entertainment for him/her for the entire game. She or he spent a lot of time and money on their models. They are spending a big chunk of their day with you (three hours for a 2250 Fantasy game). Be nice. Don't brag. Let your opponent concede. Offer advice. Be sympathetic.

Gil and I played against great opponents in our first game during the Doubles Tournament. I rolled horribly. Our Ogres ran and died and burned and cried. The whole time our opponents were gracious and kind and seemed to honestly feel bad. Later they said "Sure -- we wanted to win -- but not like that." The important thing is they were respectful and allowed us to laugh at ourselves. We had fun playing them even though they absolutely immolated us.

Anyway -- the moral of the story: Be nice and people will play with you. Be a jerk and you'll find yourself with fewer people to play.

'Nuff said.

*By the way, said this particular opponent is a fictional amalgam of the last few super-obnoxious people I have played against in the last month or two.